PASSION WITH PERSPECTIVE
People who are good at anything generally have passion for it, whatever it may be. Sometimes people who aren’t all that ‘good’ still have tremendous passion for what they do. In my opinion, we runners rank right up there when it comes to passion for our ‘thing’.
So, what is this ‘Passion with Perspective’?
Not for one second am I going to suggest that you can excel without the passion that lets you dig down for what you need. Let? Maybe, MAKES you dig down for what you need. Does anybody but me hate it when people tell you: “now just take it easy and don’t hurt yourself out there”? Right – that’s what I thought.
So that isn’t what I’m talking about when I say ‘perspective’. I suppose this could be written for any runner who has come to a sudden stop in his or her running career, including elites who suffer a catastrophic injury or health problem. However, I believe it more applies to athletes who are aging and slowing and all that stuff for which they made age grading systems to give comfort. (That would be me, of course.)
In this case, what I am talking about when I use the term ‘perspective’ is how we manage the inevitable. I am privileged to get up close to a lot of excellent athletes and observe their passions for the sport and see them live it. Many more are just people who take their running very seriously (it could really be anything else, but this blog is about running and runners). Performance in absolute terms has little to do with it in the general sense, but I imagine that the better an individual is, the more acute the situation.
I have seen a fair number of individuals who seem to define themselves by their running and running performance. There are really two levels here: running as such and running well. The issue comes down to: who would you be if you could not run? For most, the answer is probably ‘someone who used to love running and now runs no more’. The same could be said for those who once ran well and can now only run recreationally or for general health benefits. I have seen some runners who have lost their passion or at least deny it, once they are no longer able to perform at peak levels. I have seen others who have turned that passion in a different direction, while still celebrating it and using it to drive something different such as coaching or promoting involvement in our sport.
I have faced this abrupt change once when my mediocre, but personally satisfying running was brought to a sudden halt by a ruptured disk in my back. I had not run while I was a young adult, only beginning (as is the case with many) as I hit 40. From that point, and for the next 3-4 years, my performances got steadily better. All my PB’s come from the 12-15 months just prior to my back problem. The trend was to better and better times, so had the back thing not happened, I’m not sure where my PB’s might have wound up, or for that matter, what I would be doing today in terms of running. But, it DID happen and I had to deal with it.
After I was repaired, I did run again but my times were never quite what they once were, and my body was no longer as it once was. The post surgery times actually weren’t all that bad or so much slower, but it was clear that I had seen my best running days, at least in absolute terms. In my best running days I got down to a sub-20 minute 5K and a marathon under 3:25 (no chips then so I have to estimate just a little) and all the relatively similar times for distances between. Maybe that was actually the best I was ever going to do anyway, but we will never know. It is what it is (or was).
That was the first time I had to put some perspective into my passion. I could have said I would never be as good as I was, so I might as well quit and feel sorry for myself. Instead, I accepted that loving running was bigger than running to any particular standard. Frankly, the only real standard I have set for myself, was and is, running my best. More importantly, I guess the ultimate standard I have set for myself is that I must enjoy running. I can honestly say that I do love running for its own sake and as hard as a race experience may be I still love the competition part too. I was never really good enough to make goals to beat anyone in particular or win races. The odd time there was a podium place, but that was never really what drove my passion. Loved it when it happened, but was always a bonus. I’m sure I’m hardly unique in that regard.
[As an aside, I should say that this article has taken some time to write as it is not particularly time-sensitive and I did want to be particularly thoughtful about it. I have let it stew a bit and had various thoughts along the way.
As I was out running yesterday, I was thinking about whether my running has EVER impressed anyone but me. I suddenly realized that it has, if not 'impressed' then definitely impacted quite a number of people. The interesting part is not that anyone has ever been that impressed with my blinding speed (cough, choke) but rather that the older I get and slower I go there are more and more impressed with the very fact that I do keep going as the weeks, months and years add up! It is gratifying to me that people openly show that recognition and pleasing to me that perhaps my exploits do encourage others.]
OK, back to the original story line. In my own case, other stuff got in the way of steady competition after I was healed and healthy, and while my first marathon was in 1988 and my second in 2000, there were other shorter distances that happened through summer of 1989 and picked up again in 1991-92 and then sputtered to life again in 1998, it was 12 years between my first and second marathon. Even without the back problem, twelve years is a LONG time between events you want to compare. Again, yay for age grading. Age, is the operative word. That is something that hits us all, Ed Whitlock notwithstanding, and when you get right down to it, Ed too. The question is really one of how we accept the inevitable, or experience ‘Passion with Perspective’.
I have known people who set some arbitrary time in their heads for a particular distance and consider running over that time to be failure. Failure of such import that it defines them, at least in their own minds. I had a small dose of that in a recent marathon in Eugene when I ran 4:55. I did achieve something that was part of a decision point, and that was going under 5 hours. However, once I got home and could play a rousing game of ‘fun with numbers’ it came out that using age grading for long-term comparison, that was my 7th best performance out of 17. When you take into account the calendar, that time was relatively better than some much quicker absolute times done at a more tender age. Could I have gone faster? Well, in this instance, yes I think I could. I can easily explain away about 1.5 minutes from the finish time, and know that with better race management, maybe another 5-10 minutes could have been foregone. That said, it is a far cry from my 3:25 done in 1988. Aaah, but you see, there is the point. The 3:25 happened 25 years ago (almost to the day). So here is my second application of perspective to my passion for running. As I already said, this is one we will all face in relative terms. Some may see themselves failed if they can’t do a 3:00, or 4:00 hour marathon (or 16 minute 5K). Right now, 5 hours is kind of my magic number but then I realize I never achieved less than three hours and have no idea if I ever had the potential to go sub-three. I have documented proof that I could go sub-four, but even that is now a thing of the past. I feel just as passionate about running. I love it and I love competition. As long as I feel like it is a good thing for me, I will continue. When I don’t feel competitive running is healthy, I hope I will still be able to just run for pleasure. Passion with perspective.
I am trying to set out some ideas without stooping to saying that we all just have to suck it up and face reality and stop whinging about what we can do now and letting that somehow define us. I’m trying. In truth there are some far worse things than not being able to run as fast as we once could. Everyone has his/her own view. I wrote this because I have known a few who appear to me to be taking an ‘all or nothing’ approach. In my opinion that is an inevitable path to failure and serious personal difficulty. Hopefully, in the end it all turns out in the “well, that was fun while it lasted, and I was pretty awesome even if I do say so myself” category.
My current ‘passion’ seems to have become trying out this whole ‘Marathon Maniac’ approach for the next while. Running a marathon and a 50K ultra in a period of 13 days certainly seems to qualify. I have another marathon scheduled for early June, but then life gets in the way for a bit, so may have to look at the Fall and plan a series of races that work on several levels. I’ll let you know how that works out. In the meantime, I hope this post has given readers something to ponder.
Running in the Zone: A Handbook for Seasoned Athletes is now available in e-Book format from Trafford Publishing.
















